Revisiting those 30 days (v1.1)

Now some story...

Neurons@Work

So with all the good things being done, now it’s time for some ‘me-time’.
This entire year was varyingly sized. At times it was sonic paced, and there were surely times when time was just not a 4-letter word, it felt like an epic in itself. Humongous mix of feverish engagements to daunting loafing; jinxed normalcy to absolute fun in the most cutting crisis, it was a wavy mix and just as gorgeous as such tresses would be.
But while departing with all these, there was a frenzied revelation: a realisation of the existence of parallel universe.
This wasn’t the first time I was transitioning, but doing it alone, yepp. Till this day transitions were a collective course. So the exchanges were balanced all the ways round. But this time it was a bit qualified.
I doing the packing, in my baggage loaded with string of experiences of varied sorts.
Experiencing encounters with diverse personae. This reserve facade that I own, it was quite a deal coming across such broad spectrum of people, diversified in all fashion. But work, they say, its one ice-breaker. And it was as well. There can be a million more things, counting them won’t do any justice for sure.
But then this day as I count back my days of moving ahead, I’m very impressed by this phrase moving out. Because when we move ahead, it might be the geography we’re parting with, the physical proximity we might be diminishing, but then there’s always that bit which keeps on adding to our part of the universe. This ‘our part of universe’ that I keep on blabbering, is a plagiarised concept... should thank Mr Coelho. But it certainly holds a peculiar strength of undeniable truth in it.
Those 30 days that are playing with my neurons, they exemplified the understanding of the experiences I had in the bygone couple of years. Strangely enough, when I was asked if I was leaving TCS, there was a pang. Surely not for the idea of not being a TCSer anymore, but may be because I never wanted to miss out on any part of that existence of mine. Forbidden Fruit Syndrome, as they say.



Hahh!! Seems like a whole lot of denial....
2 b contd... ;)

Revisiting those 30 days...

Retrospective it is, commencing as ‘Keeda Blogger’ for a daily update (which lasted for merely two days) to pondering and muted thinking; this finally is an apt time to finally garble around with my new-new keypad.
Extending my part of the universe to a new dimension, there’s a clutter of thoughts, a big one, to rethink of all those times, but without puking a mess a quick note of thanks... Admittedly, it’s way too late for the same, but then it never feels bad to express pleasure.
So counting back, here I begin:


Day 30
Cheers!!!
Hahh! That indeed was a funny moment when I was trying to make fun out of things saying ‘It was a pleasure being in this team’ n stuff. Crap it wasn’t, but creepy, for sure. Guess I’m just a bit more poised with pen. ;)
Regardless of that, gratitude I did felt might be for the strangest reasons. A very big THANKS to each one of you. 
And I’ve my reasons for the same. Being a part of the team was a mere process, if not this one, some other for sure... ‘t was meant to be. But here I found a peculiar dynamics of acceptance of collaborative growth. It might not be utopian, but it’s really rare to see the entire set of colleagues being a part of your transition journey in good spirits.
Honestly, I wasn’t sure on how to let on my scores and the entire process going further in the workplace. There certainly were myriad prejudices clouding around, but then commodious it was made.
Making a work-study balance was my part, but I really appreciate the kind of optimistic detachment I experienced from the work front. That is something I would desire in the places I go, and to all of us. To acknowledge, that was a great support, blessing in disguise indeed.

Thanks for all of it!!! 

P.S. The Coffee Day treat is due on me 


Day 1 to All
To the ‘Friends’ it is...
It began with a clutter of on-boarded colleagues all in their own world, and those worlds conflated on cafeteria tables... ‘A lot can happen over coffee’ as they say. True it is.
From the expansive herd to the CoffeeTable, there was a lot amidst. From coffee to cocktail, a journey of giggles and cribbing, of crushes and their disasters, of bands and the brownies and the most consistent of all, weighing needles and weddings... 
Probably it’s only when we part ways that we realise, how intertwined certain things become to your MO.
This is a course in continuum, or so we expect, and better kept unspoken for the better of it.

To the beauty of it... Cheers!!! 


Day 0 to All
To the ‘Buds’ it is...
Beginning with a single one at BIA, summer of ’12 it was. The crew has been growing since, and it has been a delight, without doubt.
There’s hell lot of stuff around... I can wrap an epic for that. The 1.3 kg on my top would overheat and a lot more mess involved... nobody is ready to invite, I’m sure.
This is funny, the closer you are, more you lack for words.
You were that set of people whom I would love-to-hate-to-love or hate-to-love-to-hate. Perplexing it sounds, but there’s a whole lot of emotion flowing in, that alone is more than required, I suppose 
To the successful and mostly dumped plans and to the revelry of it all... Cheers!!! 

Running the 'High-Way'

HIGHWAY


‘Highway’ – the Feb’ 2014 released movie, it surely did real good business, grabbed an enviable number of positives critique and definitely gave a lot to Alia Bhatt to flaunt in her ‘profile’, as we engineers term it.

For me, it was one of the rarest (read ‘mahaa-rarest’) movies for which I dragged myself in front of the silver screen and surprisingly there was a will to it. Not sure if A R Rahman’s music alone could entice that fervor in me or it was the curiosity to watch something that pretentiously felt different, but then every other nowadays claims to be ‘different’. Anyways whatever caused me move, the crux is that I watched the movie and was real impressed; so much that this idea of blogging it down could be dumped in hindsight for the entire weekend… and here I am.

So first of all, why am I scribbling things here? People with much more knowledge on such aspects have already given their word, the songs on the script and allied opinions are already up in the air. So what’s new..? shall I just say that I loved this movie and was left with goose bumps and a lingering state-of-mind is what’s making me spend so much for a movie (read ‘the pettiest mode of killing time, esp. when its Bollywood’).

Well, the entire focus is on the last part of my question… ‘A lingering state-of-mind’. It can be a very subjective interpretation of the entire plot, but this is a rendezvous with my thought on the movie and what really made me cling to it.

The movie starts with a blurred shoot of some wedding’s preparation. Then the bride fleeting (first thought: she’s absconding for the love of her life ‘usual B-crap... I want to run’; second ‘more Anglicized and intelligent’ one: she’s out with her fiancée… true!!! Wow!!), she gets kidnapped, then an all India (for those whose India is confined to NCR-Gurgaon-Shimla-Kashmir + pinch of Punjab) tour, some love-shuv budding, merry-go-round tale and dhaashh… the hero is shot dead (that’s an upbeat novelty in B-crap books), then Alia goes ferocious to her family and some business… some details missed/skipped, but ultimately it gives mixed feelings to the viewers.

Now I might be crazy to the way I mapped it and took this concept to an entirely new plane.
First shot, amazing Himachal Pradesh (some pass, I don’t really know) that reminded me of my native, I’m deeply in love with. Then my passion for the lens’ version of imagery, all plaudits in the first minute itself. Later, as the story progressed, I found it reverberating with our course of existence (mine for sure). This is how it is right… We have a few things, but then it’s always something else that we covet for. Something different, something we hadn’t had access to. That’s the race. But not everything happens under the school of obedience. We desire for something, possibly we go ahead to attain that; might even find it fulfilling and the next moment the fairy tale is all shattered and skittered. A sense of fright, despair, helplessness overwhelms us. We may feel doomed for some span, probably just want to get rid of all of it and actually want to get back to the usual existence we were running away from (if not defying absolutely). But there comes a time when we do realize is way back is not a choice we have. In that despair, in the weariness of fighting against one’s own existence, steadily we start getting accustomed to all of it. That’s how it is. Many a times, we don’t really give up; it’s just that revelation that there’ no point crying for the bygone than to ‘move on’ and we start carving out better prospects in the contextual present. We start mingling with persons and situations we didn’t even found worthy enough to give a side glance, let alone a face-off. And there also comes a time when we get comfortable amidst the newly found haven. We start building our future trajectories from the present itself; howsoever deviated it may be from our pre-postulated trajectory. We start living in that moment, feeling the vibes of that instance, collaborating and even synergizing with the participants of that moment. Progressing on the same lines we start moving towards our newly found trajectories and even assimilate in ourselves the exuberance of the ambient and our accomplishments in those settings. Now as everything else evolves, so does our definition of accomplishments. But again, life hasn’t been to the school of obedience, for sure. Never would it follow a predictable route. That’ll be too silky to be called ‘life’. One more momentous happening and things may change in entirety of their very existence. We may be pulled back to our ‘usual course’, which has lost its normalcy way back in time. Now that part and parcel of our existence, doesn’t even defines our very being. Probably it’s meant to be a journey and we evolve way too forward from our niche point. Those same characteristics which defined our very existence, the significance of their presence itself become questioned. Obviously many-a-things remain etched I our medullar canvas for long, and some eternally as well, forming a part of our experience, the guideline to our thought process and also the lamps to guide our way through the forthcoming.

That was an interpretation of ‘my plane’, and the takeaway here was that it is our take on designing the trajectory which defines the very appearance of our existence. Evolutionism is critical. It does not imply instability or fickle-mindedness but a strong head to an open-minded tank. Provided the head should be strong enough in following its perceptions that it had in each level. That’s what intrigued me about the movie.

This lengthy proposal of my opinion might be more elaborate than required, more subjective than anybody else understands, but this is what brings a difference of interpretation when too many minds bog on the same toy. I guess that’s why they emphasize ‘entitlement to one’s opinion’.

The Difference

Okay!! Another day... holiday in fact... a holiday, out of plan, and gifted by the service-seekers.. ;)
Never happens though... but i'm not lying for sure, neither am I backing off from my work-life balance claim done in the INTRO... ;)
Its just an outcome of yet more dependencies... a week that started after a weekend that made me 'slog like a dog'... and this week... half of it passed in merriment.. :)
Awaited are things, but atleast for the time being I can see foreheads without those extra creases, smiles and chats all fluttering around in the place....
This makes me realise, how much are strings are leashed by our situations. We can't subside everything that we're going through. Our demaeanour does reflect a lot. No matter how true Scorpion traits we owe, no matter how hard our shell is. Pleasures just come their way through, may be in our gestures or conversations, or any or many or all of the multitude of choices we have to express ourself. Similar are the fallouts of not-so-pleasing, and other-than-pleasing situations. No matter how conceded we remain in our gestures of expression, how fortified our guard is to vent out the conscious and unconscious reactions to whatever we encounter; 'The Difference' exists... it does exist even if its not perceivable in the daylight, somewhere entrenched in the darks of our existence, its present.
Now I'm not sure how much my scribbling can actually articulate the myriad thoughts sweeping within; but htis thought has definitely given me the title for this post ;) and a theme to progress with as well...
Huhh credited to our service-seekers... I do have time to 'progress' today ;) :)
Well.. as of difference... its a thought perspective -- defined by the subject, object and the third party observer as well. Whooshhh didn't intended to make it this 'technical'. The only inent here is to speak in terms of the difference our surroundings impose on our interpretation of whatever meets our being, may those be conscious or reflex. Striking a resonance between the person experiencing (object), the entities interacting with the object (subject) and the audience to such interaction  (third party observer) marks an ideal world scenario. One or the other way, our existence survives in atleast one of these roles, inclusive or exclusive of intersections.
For those flamboyant on the expressive front, things are more sort-of 'broadcasted'... their joys, vulnerabilities, achievements everything. It may create smoothies for the subjects or suffocate them as well.. The audience has plenty to articulate from such scenarios.. enough to possibly jabber on, only if they want. But in a way this 'open-book' attitude paves the object persona to b eopen to the multitude of responses coming. Being surprised isn't their choice. De facto, they should be the ones prepared to anticipate any sort of reaction, from robust approval to abrupt denial to brutal mockery. And justifiably enough, their failure for such anticipation causes things to become not-so-pleasing. This is of course a subjective tatement, and not even complete.. you actually need to work through a million other things before even attempting to ratify such extensive analysis. But then what I personally feel, once you' re publishing any information you are sharing its ownership subject to usage. It happens with security systems, official documents and with human beings as well. And obviously, the homo sapiens being more unpredictable than any other thing heard of, one should be prepared for the best and the worst as well. But often I find such flamboyant mob only sulking, creating ruckus more than anybody else. As in they won't approve the other person's response. As if they respond to please you... Or may be the chameleon grade is still better at camouflaging their internal ruckus and resentment of the other person's opinions and responses.
That's a maze... But the underlying ques remains... can we define the correct or incorrect, appropriate or inappropriate in this....

----This is really going wild I guess, it seems as if I started a thread and its evolving to a web... May be some more bracket time with a bit more of thought can tun up to a better realisation of the thought pangs pinning my mind.

Some yahaa wahaa...

Anotherrr dayyy of drrooollinnggg.... Just discovered an amzing, stupendous blunder done by me.... Two freaking days, that I'd plan to take leave, just went drinking TCS sponsored Horlicks... crap thi Horlicks, didn't even gave me that extra vision to see the beauties of my typing... ;)
The Most Amazinngg Typos... n I'm breaking my own records ;) :)
Guess, the love for office is in my DNA.... that could possibly the only reason why me, not being the sitting late for work kinda person, has been spending entire days in this white conundrum... ;| :\
No wonder sitting for late hours is not that bad... but it doesn't feeels the same good when you've been amongst the early birds in that place. Such a situation is only acceptable in places where we hoot n shoot n still love to scoot again n again. ;) :)
Well now that I'm hoping that I can leave in peace after doing a bit of 'here-n-there'...;) pretty words are falling out on this page while 'processes' are running in background... Processes.. thank goshh they don't exist in animated mundane... else with the intensity I 'kill' them n on top of that the 'sheer pleasure' I derive in doing that.. <Whoof thaz amazing..> I would've been leading The Assasin's Creed...

Well.. so it seems as if this ambience is not letting my thoughts flee beyond codes n servers n processes... :|
Thaz soo not happening... crap I'm not freaking able to write anything... more than that I'm  not able to think about anything... let alone writing.

Now there's a bulk of thoughts... Tooo many... Not all pretty... So i better sign-off for the day... :-x

Day 1 : INTRO

Heyy!!
Here's a note of caution.. Its not my first day of the experience that'll be falling out. In fact its a day from when I decide to share the extra weight on the limited edition material filled inside my skull. When I become witness to myriad stances, numerous observations and anlayses, lot of stuff is in action, but fortunately or unfortunately the repository size is not as expansive as the amount of information its fed with. So why not take advantage of the cloud space to accomodate the cloudy hazy ventures. After all this cloud space also belongs to this 'material' only... Intelectual Property as we term it ;) :)
Whoops!! The space n ambience seem to effect me a lot... :| :\ :( :O
I'm not sure what is the 'solid' intent of creating this new blog... Probably I'm planning to scribble all the shreds of the magnate life clinging to my thought magnet... ;) That too only when I'm in office... Shouldn't mix personal n professional creeks... else you never know a vast "khaai" only will be created.. ;)

Well... its not actually my first day in office... neither the worst one ;) <usually these r the only times when I find this URL in my Favorites' list ;)>
As a matter of fact, its just a cool day, atleast I've done with what I wanted to... excpet for being through it... dependencies... man it sucks... Its suffocating to see yourself in a position when you're responsible for everything butat each step you need to deal with hundred other things... That's the Sutra of Social Survival I guess, rather wonder... I wonder if this is the introvert in me overpowering my thought process... but then that's what realy burns 'me' out... But to introspect its not only a single 'me' reacting this way, or its just the 'office thing' that makes things look so cranky. Right from our very first choice till the time we become real decisionmakers.... things evolve in numerous facets but one thing that survives through is that no matter how much we flaunt of our 'independent' existence.... but the only showstopper in this fiesta is 'INTERDEPENDENCE'...
Right now... is it my amazing passion to blog that I'm streching to utilize the benefits of technology, or is the urge to grab my share in the memory of Google's data stores motivating me to slog in front of this 32" HP screen... or once again I'm simply idling out 'cause I'm expecting somebody to get something for me which will ease out my next day in front this space.... 
 Amazing... things can always be stalled... deadlines can always be negotiated... and there isn't anybody who refrains ease... then what's that motivation, or shall I rephrase it.... that force which drives us to work, work n mpre than that slog when at times we know its only redundant....

<well with this time passing i'm trapped into one one more bit of chore.... not expecting to continue later... signing off for the day ;)... Don't wanna annoy the 'Red freezing beast' ;)>